My baby boy,
I know it’s a Fathers Day again without daddy. I can’t hide the pain, but for a moment, I’m glad you are still too young to realize how much this day holds a special meaning for many children. My mind is blank when it comes to drafting this letter. But I want to let you know what’s on my mind my handsome boy. So I’ll just write and get it over with.
Nine months I wish I had someone to rub my back and kiss my tummy. Nine months I waited and hoped that someone would take me for my next doctor’s visit. Even though it all seemed too long, giving birth to you seems like yesterday. That day when I held you in my arms and stared into your eyes for the very first time. The day when it dawned on me that it was only the two of us. When I packed my bags and discharged myself from the hospital, I knew I was ready for this. One thing I was sure of was, I loved you. It was a love I’ve never felt before. I didn’t know this type of love exists but the bond I felt when I held your hands for the first time proved to me that it was real. From that day, I knew I had to protect you from the world.
You are too young to notice this, but daddy isn’t around. Believe me, my son; this has nothing to do with you. That he made his mind not to grow with you, I cannot explain. One thing I know for sure is because he chose to stay with us for a month or so means that he loved you. I know he will always love you in his own special way. It kills me to know that you may spend the rest of your life questioning his decision and doubting my answer but oh son; this was not your fault. He did not leave because you weren’t amazing.
The concept of a father may be a fuzzy one for you. You may never know the warmth of a hug from a real father or experience the strong voice of direction from one. For you, hearing other children recount the joy of having a dad may worsen the painful void within you. You are not alone my Super Hero. Imagine that little girl going through the same pain. Think of the challenges society brings to single moms raising ‘fatherless’ sons.
In your own way, I know you are special. So No, I don’t mind teaching you how to be a man. I will teach you how to tie a tie. I will show you the right way to tie your shoelace when the time comes. I will never miss any doctor’s appointment regardless of your age. And when you are old enough, we will talk about girls to make sure you find the right one. I will teach you how to value your woman and keep her as a treasure. Even though my dream of walking down the aisle with my father is shuttered, I will watch your queen walk down the aisle as you wait on the altar.
There are days we’ll have it all, other days will be tough, and you may even go to bed without food. But I believe in Deuteronomy 8: 16. These will just be trying times, and we will fight. It’s easy to take the wrong path and slide into drugs and violence. This world is not as kind to everyone my son. It may be tempting to rebel against the world and be unkind to those who have been cold and unloving towards you. Please know that not everyone takes this path. Some children were even in worse situations, but they have broken free from the chains of failure. It’s all about the choice you make.
No situation is permanent my boy unless you want it to. God knows your talent, and He understands your potential otherwise you wouldn’t have been born. You have a role, and I know God our father will help me see you through.
There is a hidden gem inside you, and I will help you find it. Learn to embrace God because He is the only true father you have my boy – He says it in Psalms 68:5. When He calls, I hope you will respond. You can win in this world even when no one expects much from you. You are still young, but I can see the potential in you. After all, I am your mother, and it is my motherly instinct talking right now.
Sorry, there are a lot of things that I cannot fix. I cannot bring your father back, and I don’t have all the answers. When I look into your eyes though, I see the same angel I held in my arms the first day the doctors gave you to me. I love you more each day, and this love is intense and pure. No, I will never leave you. So stick with me, and I know we will beat all odds.
I’ll tuck you in bed at night, and I’ll wake up with you every morning. All those who love you surround you with great joy, and I know they also see your worth. Daddy may not be here to see it, but we all see it. The Lord spoke in Isaiah 13:12. He will make the man in you more precious than gold. Jesus repeats it too in Matthew 10:31. Oh! You are loved, son! Nothing should put you down. Don’t ever forget my words.