An Open Letter to my Secret Crush

It feels so odd writing this to you, but it’s hard for me to say it aloud. I have so many things to tell you but am I allowed to? My mind vowed to write our story in my heart. Here I am scared to start because I don’t know if you want to play a part. You see, at times I wished fairy tales were real. Oh prince charming it would be easy to tell you how I feel. The fantasy of being swept off my feet would be so ideal. I have so much zeal in me so today is it! I want to tell you how I feel. 

I want you if only for one night, I do. Just to hold you tight. You see, you’re my light, you’re my knight. I spend my days thinking of you. Your face is imprinted on my mind too. When I close my eyes, I can feel your skin underneath mine. I can feel how you run your hands through my hair. I giggle as you move them down my back and over every part of my body. Yes, I want you to share my bed. 

I take in the way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you smile. I take in the way you smell whenever you’re next to me. I want something to hold on to. My eyes fall when you gaze upon me. My world spins my heart beats, and my throat closes when you speak. The tension is too much. But it’s this unspoken attraction that gives me too much satisfaction. 

I’m too shy to tell you how I feel. How can I when you don’t notice me? You don’t notice the way I look at you. I’m just a friend and nothing more you see. It feels safe watching you from afar. At least I don’t have to deal with any rejections. You’ve taken residence in my mind. I want you to tell me that you want me too, but you won’t. 

I lay in bed and dream of you holding me in your arms. Kissing me and running your hands all over me. I imagine you pressing me against your chest. Then I’d beg you to make love to me. I’d ask you to do it over and over. But as I sit here and watch the last candle die out, my heart dies with it. I’m scared. You would never be attracted to me. I have to let this dream go, for I am a single woman with kids and an unrequited crush.

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