This is my fourth-year solo parenting. I’ve faced so many challenges. I’ve been judged, misunderstood, and worse of all, I’ve experienced pity. Amid all these downsides, I still find solo parenting to be encouraging and empowering. I don’t consider myself a single mom. I am a mother.
Motherhood is a journey, and I love it. The only difference is that I am on this journey alone. It is tough. The road is a bit narrow, and at times it’s hard crossing the river. Traveling alone has, however, build my level of independence and strength. At times I wonder if I am the same naive girl everyone used to know. I have no one to divide my tasks with or share decisions with. On the bright side, though, I have developed a lot of skills than I ever imagined.
It takes caution to live a free life, but the fact that I’m the boss of the house makes me love single motherhood. I have no one to discuss my parenting with and no one compromises on how I raise I my children. I decide what we eat, when to sleep and make any decision for my boys.
It’s a bit of a burden taking all the responsibilities and handling them alone. Yes, I make all the decision, but at times, it feels like a burden. Thankfully, after all these years, I’ve transformed from the woman who could not say what we should eat for dinner to one who makes hard decisions daily. It is tough, but the best part is that it has made me bolder and braver than ever.
I make decisions that I believe to be the best for my kids, and I understand that I may not always be right, but that’s all okay. Plus, there’s no one else I can tap in the middle of the night when something suddenly hits the window. I have to go out and check it all by myself, so there’s no room of being afraid in a single mom’s house.
My alone time
I have no one in the house to make an effort for or argue with. When my boys are asleep or when they are away for the holidays, all I have is me. I love this alone time. Yes, at times it feels lonely, but at least I get to learn about my strengths and weaknesses. The best part is that when I find the time to connect with my true self, I get to weed out all the worst bits about myself that I don’t want.
I’ve been in situations I would never wish even on my worst enemy. I’ve faced challenges I wouldn’t want to repeat. While not all of them are connected to being a single mom, every one of them has been heavier for me to carry alone. I made it because I had to win for the sake of my children. They all count on me, and I cannot let them down. This has made me stronger by the day. I’ve learned both how to survive and how to thrive. The fear of failing my little ones makes me battle each day’s devil with all I have.
I get all the love
The best part about solo parenting is that I get all the love. I know that I am the center of my child’s world, and it makes me feel proud. I love when I lie sandwiched between my two boys. I love when they each compete over who will give mummy the last goodnight kiss. I love when we all cuddle in bed and watch a movie before we go to sleep. I don’t share or feel sidelined when I am not the parent of the week.
To the newly single mom
At first, I was unsure about being a single parent. I felt so alone and messed up, wondering whether I could do it. After all these years, I am sure of one thing, even when my world wobbles, I know I will get through the strong and come out stronger than I am now.
I understand if you are starting and it’s okay to feel uncertain, but I know you will get there one day. In case no one has ever told you this, know you are doing an amazing job, and I love how strong you are.