This is Why I Love You

You ask me numerous times why I love you 

I’m not speechless because I don’t feel something for you 

I’m speechless because I don’t know where to start 

I’m not sure if I’d ever get to the end 

I love you because you took your time to know me 

Watching and loving me from a distance 

And even though it killed every part of your soul

Seeing me smile (with someone else) was enough satisfaction 

I love you because you are my number one cheerleader 

You believe in me more than I even believe in myself 

Your strength, courage, and confidence makes me feel safe around you 

At times I want to be like you, but then I remember 

You’re already a part of me, so I should reach where you set the bar for us

I love you because I can be myself around you 

And on those days when I don’t recognize the girl on the mirror 

You remind me how priceless I am 

You were patient enough to sit and wait for me to accept the scars that were formed in my past aches 

For me, every scar told a sad story 

But to you, they were a reminder of how strong a woman I am

They are beautiful, you said 

Why would I not fall in love with you?

My heart would not resist 

Every second with you is precious 

Every minute away from you seems like forever 

To the end of the world, I will love you 

To the moon and back, you are my shining star 

My best friend, my mentor and my lover

I love you, baby.

Sorry for Being Selfish

Every day I keep hoping you’d come back

I keep waiting for you

Forgetting that you liked me,

Yet I messed everything up

I don’t know how to be less me

I’m stuck with all these questions

As if your silence is not enough of an answer

I want you back, that’s for sure

I can’t have you, this I don’t know

I wanted so bad to fix us

I wanted to fix my mistakes

Your silence tells me you don’t want to

You said no but deep down I wanted a yes

I asked again and again

Hoping you’d change your answer

I’m sorry I was selfish

Not realizing that

The more I wanted you to stay

The more I kept forcing your heart

To be where it did not belong.

Fake Lovers

Fake lovers

Waiting for her to say something

Going through their phones

Today is her turn

Because Rachel, Leah and Mercy

Were too busy to pick their phones

Fake lovers

Waiting for their turn to pounce

Like a leopard waiting patiently

For the poor gazelle to finish her meal

She is not up to their standards yet

She is not ‘ideal’ they claim

She cries because they don’t notice her at all

She waits and hopes for someone to call

Sooner or later she’ll get their attention, she hopes

Fake lovers

They fill their heads

With fake images of ‘beautiful’ women

Fantasies of women with

Plastic faces and pumped bums

Imagining that what’s inside could be

Equal to what’s outside

Fake lovers

She’s tired of being the fool

She dries her eyes and works on her esteem

She toils and sweats for herself

She loves the girl on the mirror

Holds her head high to face the crowd

She is beautiful in every way

Charming by every word

Fake lovers

It’s now their turn

To leave a message after the tone

Waiting On Love

I watch as lovers cuddle by the shore

Birds staring, undisturbed by the crowd

Hand in hand

Lovers gather for the annual festivities

Popcorn on one hand, beer on the other

My night will be the longest.

As the sun goes down to sleep,

I pull out my blanket,

And watch as the moon struggles to take its position in the sky

Soon. Very soon.

He will come knocking at my door

As I watch women take their places on their lovers laps

I reignite my dying flame and choose to wait for my man

No matter how long it takes

Please Tell Me How To Love You

You say I don’t do it right

I wish you knew how much

I’m willing to learn

How do you want me to love you?

What should I say, do or forego?

I want to be part of your happiness

I want to be the reason you smile too

Let me help you deal with the pain

Please tell me how to love you

What of your dreams?

Can I make them come true too?

I want the real you

To be at peace

With the real me

So show me your fears and

I promise they will never come back

I want to love you right

Because I know you are the only one for me

Please baby tell me how to love you.

Slowly by Slowly

Slowly by slowly I’m adjusting to our new normal

Where silence is our only means of communication

And out of sight clearly means out of mind

Slowly by slowly I’m teaching my heart how to let you go

Because even though the memories were well worth it

It’s time to snap out of it and deal with my reality

Slowly by slowly I’m trying to accept that

Our burning flame has now turned to ashes

I’ll stare at the dying embers until I come to terms with it

I’ll take it slow until my mind sets back to default

And you’ll no longer be a part of me.

Let Go

Let go of the pain that hinders you from being who you are.

Let go of the fears that you are not worth it.

Let go of the doubts that remind you you cannot do it.

Let go of the past memories that block your tomorrow.

Let go of the judgments and opinions that cloud your path.

Let go of the half love, half attention that you do not deserve.

Let go of the love that makes you feel lonely.

Let go of the voice inside that tells you you have to be perfect to be loved.

It doesn’t mean you stopped caring

It doesn’t mean you lost

It doesn’t mean you are powerless

It doesn’t mean you were wrong or that they were

It doesn’t mean your past was a mistake

It means you acknowledge your shortcomings and are willing to change

It means you want to grow and find inner peace

So LET GO AND LET GOD IN

Tomorrow is not promised

So let go and love more.

Life is too short to live in regret.

Set Yourself Free

Behind that smile

She hides a heart so broken

A wound that needs attention

behind that smile

Is a woman so hurt

Whose life was torn apart

By the same man

She loved

She has to pull through

Open her heart to trust again

She has lessons to teach

She puts on a smile so real

Because she knows

She wasn’t the problem

Renewed strenght

It was time to

SET HERSELF FREE

Mixed Feelings

I’m scared of burying

Our memories

Your thoughts

Still linger

In my head

Your presence

Fresh like a daisy

I can taste your lips

When I close my eyes

I feel your hands

Move across

My body

I can’t do this

I’m not ready

To bury it all

I need you here

How do I let go

Of all this?

Mixed feelings

In my head

I don’t know

What I’ll do

When I see you

Because

The pain you left

Equals the love I felt

Mixed feelings.

I Wish You Well

Your new family looks great,

Your wife smiles like an angel,

You must have taken your time before choosing her,

I dropped a tear when I held your son,

For a moment I wished he was ours.

This would have been us,

Today would have been our second anniversary,

But I had to go mess things up.

Is it bad that I’m not over you yet?

I mean I wish you the best,

But I’m not ready to be happy for you,

Because the wound is still fresh,

The guilt alive.

I still had a little hope of an ‘us’,

Now I know it will never be,

So let me wish you well.