I Hate Myself for Loving You

I hate myself for loving you
For thinking that there will ever be an us
I hate myself for believing that you loved me
For thinking that you saw an us just as I did
I hate myself for wanting you to myself
For hoping that one day you’ll change your mind and pick me
I hate myself for being a fool and believing that you were real
That you wanted this like I did
I hate myself for putting my feelings last
For pulling myself back to accommodate you
I hate my heart for loving you too much
For overlooking all the signs that reminded me I’m not number one.
I hate myself for crying this much for you
And for questioning whether you deserve it or not.
Forgive me, I didn’t know my place in your life
For overstepping and asking for too much
It’s too overcrowded for us in your heart
Perhaps it’s time for me to say my goodbye
And carry my memories with me.