A Letter To The Man I Wish Was Mine

I taught my heart to love you a little too much

I’m not ready to let it watch you love someone else.

Before we met I fought hard to make you stay

Because I didn’t want it to end before it even started.

I wanted you to see me beyond messages, phone calls and video calls.

It didn’t bother me that I was fighting alone.

I know this long message won’t change how you feel

But it will at least give me closure.

It all stopped. The calls, messages, feelings of love.

It all stopped.

I’m still trying to figure out how you suddenly

Psycho-reversed it and put the blame on me.

I saw how you looked at me when we parted.

It wasn’t the same look you gave me when we met.

Deep down I knew I was seeing you for the last time.

I was powerless

I never thought it’d be this soon.

It’s too bad you didn’t give me the

 Chance to show you how much love I can give.

How much feelings I have that I wish I could share with someone.

And this is all I ever wanted with you.

Perhaps we weren’t speaking the same love language.

I know I feel something for you,

But I’ve been hurt so many times,

I know which tables I’m not invited to eat.

I’m not willing to go down the same path again.

So I’ll choose my heart over anything else

And I’m not ready to see it break again.

This is why I’m saving you the trouble

And pushing myself away

Before you do because

You might push me further away than here and I don’t want that.

I’ll always be your fun.

Number one-ish maybe.

I’m just not ready to tell the world about a story

That we never really gave a chance to start.

Pity I was just a pawn.

And I know I’m acting weak and a coward

But I’d rather be this than fight for something alone.

2 thoughts on “A Letter To The Man I Wish Was Mine

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